My Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Day

I woke up in a really bad mood yesterday. One of those bone-tired, hurts to move, want to eat all of the pizza, bad moods that are so difficult to shake. I slept like shit, but being awake felt pointless. The thought of waking and doing the same thing over and over and over againContinue reading “My Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Day”

Another Unexpected Benefit

So I mentioned the other day that a few physical things in my life have been slowly improving: sleep, weight, etc., but yesterday I had a pretty big shocker when went for my monthly blood pressure check. I’ve been struggling with elevated-to-high numbers for about a year and a half now, and it’s bothered meContinue reading “Another Unexpected Benefit”

And the earth was chaotic and void

I’ve started quite a few projects, since the start of the year, that have a reading-a-day element to them, not the least ambitious of which is beginning the practice of Daf Yomi, or a page-daily Talmud study that begins again every 7 and a half years. Just projecting myself 7 years into the future makesContinue reading “And the earth was chaotic and void”

This month in review: Quit-Lit

Though I did finish a couple of other books, this month was a big one for quit-lit around my house, with my tally coming in at a full seven read. I enjoyed some more than others, but learned something from them all. Here they are, with thoughts, in the order read: This Naked Mind, byContinue reading “This month in review: Quit-Lit”

A Case of the Fuck-its

My counselor said that I seemed a little off, during our one-on-one yesterday, and I had to be honest and tell her that I was really feeling over it.  Going a couple of weeks without a drink isn’t a huge deal in my normal life, I explained, I do it all the time.  But goingContinue reading “A Case of the Fuck-its”

On Jews and Drinking

One of my favorite Jewish heroes of old is Judith, and though there are many versions of her tale, I’ve been thinking a lot about the Hanukkah version.  Today is the last day of the eight days, and they’ve been filled with ritual, pageantry, and yes, stories.  Its struck me on this reading, though, howContinue reading “On Jews and Drinking”

Vulnerability

Will I ever get through a counseling session without thinking how bad I need a drink? Even after all of the work I did this morning, still making myself vulnerable feels awful and wrong. Funnily enough that’s the big topic that came to light, today, as we spoke about the successes and failures of theContinue reading “Vulnerability”

Why Now?

I mentioned the other day that my next assignment for IOP is a three-page essay entitled, “Why Now?” in which I have to write out my reasons for stopping, and what it might look like if I don’t. I woke up feeling good, today, house quiet with sleep, and thought I’d give it a shot,Continue reading “Why Now?”

Bonus #16

Was still feeling restless after I posted earlier, so I ran upstairs and pulled out the clippers.  A shave and haircut later I was kicking myself for not doing it before holiday dinners.  Sometimes you feel like shit because you look like shit, there’s just no way around it.  “I like your hair; you lookContinue reading “Bonus #16”

15 Ways to Wait out a 15-minute Craving

It’s another one of those stormy gray days that I used to spend out in my office in the backyard, drinking warm drinks and playing around with words.  Or at least pretending to get some work done.  I’ve recreated that feeling as closely as possible, today, and am feeling a bit less deprived then IContinue reading “15 Ways to Wait out a 15-minute Craving”